Out In The Wild, Wild West

Since we were so busy chasing around the Olympic Torch with a lighter, making sure those damn hippies didn't blow it out (JK), we'd figured we'd go with any good stories coming out of the Westside.

So for starters, that's Kim Kardashian, better known as Reggie Bush's girl, both of them from Cally. So lovely. Especially here when she was in Playboy (NSFW)

Anyways, since your eyes have already fallen out of your skull, here's a few things that will make your brain fall out as well.

Speaking of the torch, it's brief America stop has been made even more brief. We suggest that if anyone in San Fransisco wants a torch, grab a bat and Barry Bonds jersey, soak in kerosine and light on fire. Should work just out fine. (ASSOCIATED PRESS)

It looks like David Beckham still hasn't grasped the whole American-style of driving yet. He was fined in LA, for making a illegal turn. Right side of the road, Davey. Right side. Just ask, Eric Idle. (LANCASHIRE EVENING POST)

What advice are doctors giving nowadays before cancer surgery? How about pitching six innings against the Los Angeles Dodgers. That's what Doug Davis did, who has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. (DENVER POST)

This making more news in Kansas that Rock Chalk Jayhawks bringing home the trophy. What a sad state the media is in both Kansas and Atlanta that this is the biggest news. Is or isn't Michael Vick playing football in prison? Atlanta's biggest newspaper tried to find out, though we really like the lead for this story. Leavenworth Prison used to be really tough, but now it's a minimum security prison. Lucky for Vick, who could end up like Chris Rock here. (ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION)

And finally, while not from out West, still an awesome story, at least from the hilarious standpoint. This guy walks up to four teens, says, 'Hey, you want a college scholarship? Well, I'm going to need jailbait as payment. Pay no attention to my 10-year-old son here.' What a sick puppy. You can read the story here, but you know who we really feel bad for. Mark Adams -- that's him on the right. He minds his own business, gets paid by ESPN and some perv is trying to make him a pedophile. Yikes. We'd hate to be Adams in the morning, only to read the paper and see we'd been arrested for what this other douchebag has done. (THE NEW JERSEY STAR LEDGER)

That's it for now. We'll be back again before we hit the sack -- and go to bed. What, not rim shots. Fine, but we'll leave you with a classic West Coast video. Enjoy.